Oh Boy! Guests Have Arrived!

by Heidi Atwood

There is often nothing as exciting to a puppy as the sound of a doorbell or someone knocking on the door. The anticipation of the next event can be overwhelming for a puppy who is learning about exciting distractions. This can be even more overstimulating as the door opens and new people walk in. Everybody loves a cute puppy, and human nature kicks in, causing high-pitched voices and the “need” to tousle a puppy’s furry head. 

If a puppy has the freedom to run and lunge at people who have arrived at their home, they will find this event even more exciting, and they learn very quickly to react this way every time someone enters their home because this behavior is so much fun and exciting. If they are able to try to get the attention of the visitors by jumping on them or nipping at their fingers, a puppy will find this rewarding and even more exciting, and continue the habit. 

To reach the goal of patiently waiting for a greeting, we often need to limit a puppy’s freedom when they are learning about guests entering our home, to help the puppy learn patience and practice calm acclimation to people walking into our homes. By not allowing the puppy to run at the door, we can help prevent their energy level from going into complete overstimulation as soon as they hear the doorbell or a knock. Being out of sight of the door initially can help keep the puppy calmer as well. I have a room just off my living room that I have used as a “holding room”, where the dogs have comfy places to lie down and toys to play with if they choose. They know that someone is in the home, but they will not be able to see them or get closer to the visitor unless they are able to remain calm. 

To set up a practice scenario, enlist the help of a friend or relative who will be able to follow your lead and keep their energy levels low while practicing the person’s arrival at your home. It helps to know when to expect visitors, making this a great way to get in some controlled practice. You might even offer your puppy a stuffed Kong, lick mat, or other form of mental stimulation ahead of time, to help calm and prepare them as much as possible. 

Start out by having the puppy in the “holding room” so that they are unable to see the guests walk through the door. Do this even if you need to go to the door initially and ask the guest to wait while you put the puppy in a different location. Then, ask the visitor to get settled, and advise them to pay no attention to the puppy while you bring them out on a leash. This means that they don’t look at the puppy, talk to it, or make any quick or exciting movements while you help the puppy approach the person. The visitor could sit and look at a book or magazine, for example. 

If the puppy is overly excited, pulling toward the person, barking, whining, and so on, take a few steps back and see if that helps the puppy bring their energy level down. Offer a reward for moments when the puppy is calmly looking at the person, or take the puppy farther away and even back out of the room if it is too hard for them to remain calm quite yet. Then, try again in a few minutes, repeating this scenario so that the puppy learns that they only get closer to the person if they are not trying to jump, nip, and so on. If the puppy is settling down well, slowly and casually move closer to the person, but be ready to “retreat” if necessary. 

With practice, your puppy will be able to learn that even though visitors are exciting, the only way they will be able to socialize with them is to do so calmly. Once the puppy can get closer, the visitor could also drop some kibble or a treat near their feet, to divert the puppy’s attention away from them a bit and reward them for simply being able to get closer without getting overstimulated.  

What if your puppy is fearful and doesn’t want to get closer? It’s best not to force the interaction, but instead let the puppy get closer only when they are ready. Getting too close too quickly can create a lot of extra excitement and even fear, since some puppies do not enjoy being approached excitedly or even being reached for, lifted, and handled. Puppies go through a couple of fear periods, usually from the time we bring them home at around 8 weeks, until roughly 12-14 weeks. There is a second fear phase that can also pop up unexpectedly, often around 6-8 months of age. Think of the scenario where a person wants to interact with the puppy before the puppy is ready. The puppy may hide under a table or back themselves into a corner. If the person is persistent, the puppy may develop some long-term fears of being approached or cornered. 

If your puppy is showing signs of fear (trembling, trying to get away, cowering, etc.), a visitor can practice the “treat and retreat” method. This is accomplished by tossing rewards away from themselves. The puppy learns that the person is a positive and rewarding presence, but they don’t need to pass through their comfort zone in order to get the rewards. Small steps toward bigger goals are important here. 

If your puppy is not yet acclimated to children, the arrival of energetic and possibly loud young people can be overwhelming and immediately cause extra excitement. Of course, both the puppy and the children will be excited; that’s just how it works. It would be best to allow the children to get closer while the puppy is behind a barrier initially, such as a pen, gate, or crate. This gives them the ability to observe, smell, and hear the children. You can also ask young visitors to keep their voices low, and movements slow…but good luck with that!

Puppy handlers can also give the puppy a “job” to do when there is someone at the door. This helps prevent the habit of door charging, plus you have taught the puppy that this is a spot where they are able to watch the arrivals while earning rewards for staying on their bed or mat. Visit Lesson 3.3 in our Intermediate Training Program for advice on teaching a puppy to go to their bed or a certain area when the doorbell rings or if someone knocks on the door. 

Don’t be in a hurry to have your puppy meet your visitors. Very short periods of socialization can work well, but keep in mind that if your puppy is not enjoying the visit or handling it well, it’s best to have them in an area where they can relax or play with their toys. If they don’t get to socialize at first, you are helping them learn what it takes to get closer - when they are more able to handle the excitement of guests. The ultimate goal is to ensure every social interaction remains positive. If your puppy is struggling, it is perfectly fine to let them relax in a separate area with a stuffed Kong or lick mat. As you may have heard us mention before, “no socialization is better than negative socialization experiences.”