Ahem...May I Have Your Attention

by Heidi Atwood

As the title of this blog post suggests, we have all heard polite ways to get someone’s attention. On the other hand, we have probably seen or heard impolite ways to get a response as well. 

You may have already noticed that puppies do not naturally come equipped with manners - or patience. Instead, they use shrill, demanding, or sad-sounding voices to get the attention they seek. It is important to remember that making noise is often the only method young puppies have learned to get attention.

This type of noise is hard to listen to, although not responding to it is the best course of action, so your puppy learns it doesn’t work. If we respond to attention-seeking behaviors such as barking, crying, and whining, our puppies will learn that these methods are effective and continue to try to get our attention this way. Puppies often do not outgrow this, but instead, making annoying noise becomes a habit, and they will consider it a great way to get a response for the long-term. 

First, it’s important to remember that puppy crying isn’t the same as human crying. Bonding with their new people usually happens quickly and easily within the first few days in a new home - this is the easy part. Quite often, your puppy hasn’t learned how to be “alone,” without other dogs or people near them. Your puppy would naturally prefer to be with you at all times, but it is neither practical nor beneficial for a puppy to be with us at all times. We want them to be content even if they are not with us, which is an important skill for a well-adjusted dog. There are situations throughout a dog’s lifetime when they will need to be alone due to our own schedules and commitments, injuries, illness, and other factors. Even though they would rather be with the people they recently bonded with, they are not “sad”; instead, they are trying to see what works for them, especially as the puppy navigates a new environment, new handlers, and being away from their littermates for the first time. 

Demand barking happens for many reasons. A common example is barking when anticipating the meals we are preparing for them. The dog is excited about a great meal, and this excitement can cause barking or crying. If we place their meal down after they have barked, guess what? They are going to continue this behavior because barking resulted in a great thing - dinner! They may even seek you out as their mealtime approaches, and bark at you to let you know it’s time to get started. 

To help a puppy understand that barking for food doesn’t work, practice the following:

• Walk away: If your puppy barks while you are preparing food, immediately turn your back or even leave the room for a few minutes. Even if your puppy seems ravenous, they can wait a few extra minutes for their meal while we turn it into a positive experience that also helps teach patience.  

• Remain neutral: Do not speak to or look at the dog, and stop preparing the meal. This teaches them that barking delays getting what they want.

• Wait for silence: Only put the food down once the dog is quiet and calm.

• Use cues (show them what TO do): Incorporate "wait" and "release" cues to teach patience (“Wait” is covered in Lesson 2.8 of the Basic Training Program). 

• Vary the routine: Prepare food where the puppy cannot see you, use frozen lick mats or Kongs to bypass the "need" to bark, and vary mealtimes by 20-30 minutes so your puppy doesn’t expect food at an exact time. We all know that life sometimes gets in the way of sticking to an exact schedule, so this helps prepare a puppy to handle variations in their feeding schedule better. 

How about demanding play and fun things? If your puppy comes to you with a toy, drops it at your feet, and barks at you, this is an example of a situation where we don’t want to let the puppy think that the behavior is working, so we don’t want to engage in any rewarding activities at this time. On the other hand, if your puppy comes to you with a toy and sits quietly waiting for your response, go ahead and give them some attention. This doesn’t mean that you need to immediately engage in a play session with them, but it would be a great moment to talk to them, rub their belly, and redirect their attention to another activity if you are not going to play at that time. This helps a puppy learn that this is an appropriate way to ask for attention. Reward these great moments! They are harder to notice, but it is worth paying attention to the good things that your puppy is doing. 

Tips for Success

• Make it easier on yourself: Use earbuds or music to make it easier to ignore noise.

• Normalize absence: Take your shower, walk around straightening up, or leave the house. Start with very short absences and return only during moments of quiet. Avoid big goodbyes or exciting hellos so your movements feel normal.

• Address boredom: Use mentally challenging activities like snuffle mats, food puzzles, or frozen treats. Tiring a puppy’s brain helps them relax and settle for naps, while also encouraging self-entertainment.

Teaching your puppy that barking is not the way to get rewards like food and playtime will lead to a much calmer household. Help your puppy learn that sitting quietly and looking adorable is the best way for them to get what they want!